Me Day
How Intentional Self-Care Changed My Life
It Started as Survival
This is something I’ve been doing for several decades. It began in the early 2000s, shortly after I started what everyone called my “career.” Looking back, perhaps even then I instinctively knew that working full time was a jarring shock to my system.
I had gone straight from bartending and waitressing into office work, thanks to one of my regulars at the bar. Ahh…my first “real” job. I honestly don’t know why I expected it to be easy.
My 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. schedule quickly turned into late nights, constant stress, and the kind of anxiety that only comes from working for an unpredictable boss. If I arrived at 8:32, a vein would practically pop from his forehead while steam escaped his ears. Then the next day he’d hand me a wad of cash and tell me what an amazing job I was doing.
My nervous system was exhausted. Of course, I didn’t have those words back then. I only knew that I never really understood what to expect.
Even the basics of life started feeling impossible. Finding time for a haircut, shopping for clothes, walking my dog—simple maintenance became overwhelming. Eventually, I made a decision that would quietly change my life.
I would take one day every season that belonged entirely to me. No work, no screens, no obligations, and no one else’s needs to consider. That was twenty-six years ago.
Today, I’m proud to say that my “me day” has become one of the most important traditions in my life. Most months, I intentionally schedule one because I’ve learned that rest doesn’t happen by accident.
Slow Down on Purpose
As I write this, I’m sitting in my favorite café with my journal open in front of me. No screens, no AI, just me, a pen, paper, and good music playing softly in the background.
My belly is full from a vegan Buddha bowl that I enjoyed slowly enough to notice every layer of flavor. My hibiscus tea has gone lukewarm, but that’s perfectly fine. It pairs beautifully with the almond butter balls I treated myself to because that’s exactly what today is about. Indulgence, not the Ritz-Carlton kind, not the $1,000 spa day kind, just the simple luxury of slowing down enough to fully experience my own life.
A Morning of Mindful Rituals
The day began gently. I slept until 6:30, shared coffee with my husband before he left for work, then opened Duolingo to attempt the Legendary level in Italian. I failed. That somehow felt perfectly appropriate.
Later, I walked upstairs to my meditation room. I switched on my salt lamp and filled the room with the subtle scent of patchouli. Then I rolled out my yoga mat, gathered my palo santo, sage, and the Essence of AB tincture that reminds me of one of my beloved healers, Alex, who passed away last year.
I also reached for my Wild Rituals intentions deck. I followed a nervous system regulation practice with Yoga with Adriene—exactly what my body was asking for. After cleansing myself with palo santo, clearing the room with sage, and taking a few drops of the tincture, I shuffled the cards.
The card I pulled represented water. Its suggested ritual was a one-hour purifying bath. Which made me laugh. I don’t have the patience for that. I don’t have a comfortable bathtub. And honestly, I don’t particularly enjoy sitting in it wondering whether I’m cleaner than when I started.
Self-Care Isn't Following the Rules
So I adapted. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about creating meaningful rituals. They’re never meant to become another checklist. They’re invitations. If a ritual doesn’t fit your life, your body, or your preferences, change it. Otherwise, you probably won’t keep doing it. And even if you do, it won’t mean anything.
Instead, I brewed a beautiful plant soak tea lovingly made by my friend Heather. Although it’s designed for a bath, I chose to use it as a foot soak while I showered. Since I already had hot water going, I steeped some womb health tea created by my friend Tori. I could already feel the familiar signs that my perimenopausal cycle was approaching, and this tea has become one of my favorite forms of support. I knew it would be perfect for the hour-long drive ahead. Once everything was ready, I poured the tea into the tub with a handful of salt. I lit a candle. Burned incense. Turned off the lights. Played soft purification music. Then I stepped into the warm shower while my feet soaked below me. The water washed over me slowly. I washed my face with care and exfoliated my body lovingly. Cleaned myself intentionally, and somewhere during that shower, it became obvious that this wasn’t just another task. It had become an experience. Not because I had done anything extraordinary. Because I had created spaciousness.
When Ordinary Moments Become Extraordinary
Next came my hair appointment. On any other day, it could easily feel like another item on my to-do list. Today, it felt like a gift. I have a lot of hair, so appointments take three to four hours. Fortunately, I don’t mind the drive because Kayla’s studio has become part of my self-care practice. We met through the Wild Essence community, and what she offers is far more than a haircut. She calls it a holistic haircut.
It includes Reiki, an oracle card pull, beautiful conversation, and the feeling that someone is caring for your whole being—not just your hair. I’m also grateful for her patience every time I decide it’s time to experiment with another color. Leaving the salon, I smiled and wondered where the day would take me next.
Honoring What Helps
Naturally, I headed to the dispensary. Receiving my medical card has genuinely changed my life. Sleep and focus have always been difficult for me, and while pharmaceuticals absolutely have their place, I’ve learned what personally works best for my body. I also genuinely enjoy visiting this particular dispensary. The staff is consistently warm, knowledgeable, and welcoming. Every visit reminds me how powerful a thoughtful customer experience can be. It certainly doesn’t hurt that they’re generous with their sales.
Ending the Day in Community
When I arrived home, my husband was waiting. The evening air sat comfortably in the high sixties—a welcome relief after another long New England winter. He suggested we head over to Rushford, our favorite brew pub. It has become something much bigger than a restaurant. It’s our community. The bartenders know our drinks. The regulars have become friends. It feels like home.
The Real Purpose of a “Me Day”
My me day is complete.
I feel refreshed.
Rejuvenated.
Grounded.
Ready to step back into work on Monday.
Over the years, I’ve realized that my monthly me day was never really about escaping life. It was about returning to it. Intentional living doesn’t always require a retreat or a vacation. Sometimes it simply asks us to move a little slower, pay a little more attention, and create enough space to remember ourselves.
After twenty-six years, I still believe that’s one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.
Watch this short video to dive deeper into Me Day.
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